Monday, November 28, 2011

Do I look Different?

So this past week driving up to God's country (that's a Kansas expression for anywhere that's not close to anything), J and I see a herd of Angus (black cattle) with one lonely Holstein (black and white) cow in it.  I said, do you think she realizes she's different?  Then I said, nope--its never seen itself.  I would venture to say that humans are the only creatures with access to mirrors so we can see our differences.  I bet that Holstein cow thinks she's a black beauty because that's all she sees in her fellow compandres---she doesn't see her differences.  And I bet the other cows wonder if they personally are a black beauty or a black and white beauty?  Hmmm.

If I wrote children's books, I would somehow turn this into how we see each other....let this idea stew in my mind for while  :-)

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Free Entertainment

So yesterday we had all of my side of the family out to the farm.  It was great!  I love being able to host and have people over and hearing the house full of all the sounds of crazy family.  (My family is loud, somewhat obnoxious, and always cracking jokes--and I love them).  But anywhos, Dennis and his 3 friends (yes he has another friend--he is POPULAR!  All the other little calves what to hang out with him), of course decided to trot through the yard and say hello to our guests.  I did holler out the porch at them one time and they moved around (my sis really couldn't believe that they knew my voice and the name Dennis) the barn....but came back around....and ended up in the front yard.  Oh boy.  I think all the cars in the circle drive kind of scared them, because they started running towards the road!!!  They never do that (at least that I've seen), so I run out there, and they're scurrying down the ditch, at a standstill because there's a culvert full of water.   They see me and start heading back the other way towards the house, BUT instead of following the fenceline, they head across our yard out back.  And I'm stuck doing the hokey-pokey with 4 calves in our front yard...did I mention there's a huge window in our living room?  Yeah, my whole family is standing in the picture window laughing and pointing...and taking pictures.  They've decided my Native American name is "She Who Runs With Cows".  Here's what they saw:

Oh no you don't....

Oh yeah--crazy lady, watch this!

Schwoo!  It's a good thing I'm in shape!  (That's Dennis in the front)

I told J I really need a hot pink 4-wheeler that would match my mud boots!  Wouldn't the cows love that!  LOL

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Teach a Kid to Fish

So this Thanksgiving with J's family, I got up to do dishes and I commented that when we (my siblings) were growing up, at my Grandmother's house, my Mom made all the kids do the dishes.  So there would be about 10 kids of various sizes, some on stools, others standing, doing all the dishes after a big feast.  Someone replied, I can't imagine making kids work, they should be being kids.  Hmmm.  Now I really do see both sides to this argument.  Yes, kids should enjoy spending time with cousins, running outside, playing football, creating imaginary games, etc.  But, its like the expression, "catch a fish for a child, feed him for a day, teach a child to fish, feed him for a lifetime."  I think it builds character to have to put in some sweat equity into things.  I congratulate my mom for having the cohonas to wrangle all us cousins and put us to work...even if it was a little dish washing sweat shop--J/K. 

However you might look at it personally, it did create a memory, I will always remember doing dishes, then getting to go play  :-)

Oh well, today all my family is coming over for our Thanksgiving....are my nieces and nephews tall enough to reach the sink yet?  LOL

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Full of Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

My family has this tradition of going around in a circle after we've prayed and saying what we're thankful for.  This year I would have quite the list, here goes:

-J--he is the most steadfast person I know.  He handles my craziness like a pro and loves me unconditionally.

-my Mom--she reads my blog every time (and normally comments), she is supportive of my wild ideas, even if they differ from her own.

-my BFF's A & K---they are 2 amazing women that I could tell anything to, and they wouldn't judge me, and would always listen.  And if I'm going to hell, they would be in the hot air balloon with me--LOL.

-my crazy life on the farm--everyday I am amazed by the circle of life that I am privy too living on a farm.

-all my family and friends who fill my life.

-and to God who has made all things possible  :-)

Monday, November 21, 2011

Dear Mr. Gates:

So this Penn State/Clearwater, KS/Kingman, KS/Hesston, KS, and numerous other instances of children being abused makes me sick, like almost physically ill.  The people that do these things to children are mentally ill--and that illness is an equal opportunity employer.  It can affect any race, creed, color, nationality, political status, income, family status, etc.  It just doesn't happen in "big towns" with "those people" happens everywhere--just like the flu.  And how do we prevent it, or stop it?  I don't know.

I heard in one country that there was a national registry of anyone that worked with children.  Nurses, teachers, Sunday School teachers, ministers, soccer coaches, Scout leaders, you name they all had to be registered with a higher power--and had to renew.  Hmmm.  I like this idea for several reasons.  First, lets say someone does something inappropriate with a church group, that incident isn't reported to the police, but they are escorted from their church group.  That same person then goes and becomes a soccer coach....hmmm.  There's something wrong with the current system.  If a person is kicked out of one youth organization that should carry over to other organizations, not just leaving the possibility of still working with other youth. 

How would this work?  I don't know, like a nursing license maybe?  You would have to apply and maybe even take a class.  And hey--you know what--if you had a problem with it, then you shouldn't be working with youth anyway.  I think its a great idea---now if I could only find a financier--don't the Gates have some extra millions they could donate?  LOL

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Free Range Beef (A Story)

So we really should start marketing our cattle as free range range chickens are all the rage...why can't beef be too?  LOL.  So as I was leaving for church today, a calf was standing in our yard.  I yelled and he waddled back in, here's how the story goes:

"Clarice, I say this wind is chilly."

"Oh Myrtle what we need is a new coat...say did you see crazy lady's new coat?"

"Clarice you spend way too much time looking over the fence, this here is some good Milo."

"I'm serious girls, she came out the other day in this vintage white fur coat...I about ran for high country thinkin I was seein snow."

"Hmph, high dollar fluezy, that girl is crazy."

"Louise don't be a stick in the mud, it was faux fur."

"I tell you what, DENNIS, come here boy."

"Yes Momma"

"Now I know you're fixing to hop through the fence, just wait until 8:00 right before the crazy lady leaves.  Then hop through the fence, and stand right in the yard, so she sees you.  Then, when she drives all crazy like over to you, the girls will get to see her coat."

"But Momma, this Milo is sooo goood."

"Boy, you hop over that fence at 8:00 or I will tan that black hide of yours."

"Yes Momma."

(30 minutes later)

"Well I guess I owe you a cube Clarice, that coat is fine, crazy lady be lookin good today."

"Told you so, I know my vintage goods."

Friday, November 18, 2011

Homemade Lean Pockets

So I figured I could make Lean Pockets from semi-scratch, so I gave it a whirl...and they turned out tasty!!!

You need:
1 lb ground and browned beef or sausage
2 packages of crescent rolls
1 jar of spaghetti sauce
any leftover soup/vegetables/onions/etc that you like

So I browned the sausage, then we had some leftover vegetables that I knew J wasn't going to eat by themselves, so I pureed them, threw them in with the sausage to brown.  Then threw in the spaghetti sauce.  Then I took the crescent rolls and left 2 triangles together and put the filling in it, rolled it over so the seam was at the bottom, pinched the ends, and that was it.  So easy.  Put them on parchment paper, put in the oven at 400 for about 20 minutes, dusted with shredded cheese, and yummo!  So good!  And got like 3-4 servings of vegetables...on the sly of course  ;-)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Grass is Greener on the other Side of Butler Road

So one of our neighbor’s is also a farmer (shocker right?), he lives about ½ a mile away from us, and is about 60 or so.  Lets call him Wilbur.  Well I don’t know if I would classify Wilbur and my hubby as friends…but they do have some weird keeping up with the Jones’ habits.  If Wilbur sees J out washing his combine, well then you see him jump into his truck, pull out the combine, and what do you know it’s a great day to power wash the combine.  If J sees Wilbur cutting soybeans, well hell, I can’t look bad, I better go cut down south, he says.  The other day we were driving and I don’t know where J had been, but the tires were just throwing mud, leaving a nice little Hansel and Gretel trail….guess who else had a dirt trail?  I said where have you been?  He laughs, I guess the same place Wilbur’s been.  LOL.    Does anybody's else husband have one of these keeping up with Joneses friends--farmer style? 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Second Class Citizen?

So I have wonderful insurance through State Farm, I’ve had them since I started driving, like in 1995 or something.  When we got married, I stayed with State Farm, just added J to my policy, in case he needed to drive my car sometime.  One of the “bonuses” State Farm does is send out Christmas address labels to use for cards—love that part!  However, this year, the address labels came and said John and Mary Smith.  What?  When did I become the second class citizen?  Don’t I pay the bill?  Haven’t I been the insured person for 17 years? 
For years, we teach our daughters, support our friends to be independent strong women, until they get married and still become an “and” to somebody’s name, thus taking a second seat to the husband.  Why?  I don’t get it….especially in this instance when I have been the insured person, not him.   Shouldn’t I be listed as primary?   I know this is one of my oddities, among others—I don’t like Mr and Mrs at all.  Why do we as women have to identify our relationship status?  Do men?  No.  It’s just an archaic tradition of subjugating ourselves.  I use Ms.  for everything.   I didn’t (and don’t) address wedding invitations/cards/etc as Mr. and Mrs. James Doe to anyone.   How in modern-day society can a woman be identified as a Mrs. Some guys name? 
I know—women’s rights is my biggest soapbox, oh well.  I’m sure if it was 100 years ago, I would have been a suffragette in jail because I was fighting for the right for women to vote. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Things That Linger From the Past

Now, there are some things that I do that I don't think are odd...until other people notice and are like what?  I think it has a lot to do with your upbringing and habits you develop that are normal to you, until you are thrust into another environment and see other habits. It's interesting being around my siblings, and things we think are totally fine, but then our significant others are like, umm that's just a you guys thing. 

For example, my siblings and I hate dirty dishes in the sink.  So annoying, I'm just going to have to pull them out and put them on the counter to wash them, so just leave them on the counter.  Maybe this is because we had to wash dishes by hand growing up, and always stacked dishes on the counter.  Who knows.

I don't put ice in hardly anything.  I don't think my bro does either--I'll have to ask my sister.  Reason for that being, on the farm growing up we had those old metal ice trays, that were a pain in the a** to pull open and get ice.  Fingers would about freeze to the metal trying to pull it back, only to have it not break away half the ice pieces.  Solution:  don't put ice in your drink.  And that just kind of stuck.  I still don't to this day, and we have an icemaker.   Here's a pic of the trays:

They look so nice and vintage in the pic....too bad they're the devil in disguise.

Most people would be surprised to learn that I don't own a crock pot, and really can't recall I time I used one.  I'm sure my BFF had one that I might have used, but not that I can recall.  Reason:  when I was a wee young thing of 8 or so doing dishes (that were piled on the counter, not the sink--LOL), I was washing my Dad's old crock pot (the style that was a single unit, not the pull out kind).  Well in the best of my 8 year old intentions, knew I wasn't supposed to submergee the cord in the water because of the whole thing got submerged.  My Dad was so mad, I can't even remember what he said, but it scared the begeezus out of me enough to never want to use one.  Then I got one of those small crock pots dropped on my head one time.  So I just learned to cook without using the cursed little things.  LOL.  Who knows...I can laugh about it now  :-)

Monday, November 14, 2011

The Fight With Germs

So I'm not one of those women that carries Bath and Body hand sanitizer with me- sanitizing after I've shaken someone's hand or been to Walmart or any other various activities when I've seen those little bottles whipped out.  And I think it makes my immune system stronger.  Plus I live on a farm, where there are germs everywhere.  (I'm not saying that my house is gross or filthy either, just have a practical approach to how much am I really going to get clean.)  Look at guys, do you see guys with little sanitizer bottles on their belt, diligently squirting after they've peed behind a tree.  Lol, I don't think so.  I consider it lucky if the guys will wash their hands when they come in from doing whatever they've been doing.  Has society (or Bath and Body Works) created this fear of any germs, that is inherently making immune systems ineffective?  What quantity of germs is good to build up tolerance?  Have we bleached our immune systems by sanitizing?  Hmmmm.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Gunfight at OK Corral

So I conquered by fear of the 4-wheeler and got out and rounded up some calves that had gotten out--I don't know who was more or the calves.  Looking out I knew it was Dennis and friends (he has 2 friends now--he is popular!)...our neighbors have some volunteer winter wheat, and they just think its theirs.  So out I head on the 4-wheeler, pink boots flying, and yell at the calves.  I get them running and have them cornered, so I open the gate and swing around to get them in.  Well I didn't want to face them head on, so I looped around the horse barn and came down the narrow-way between the two corrals...Its just me and the calves now.  Its the gunfight at the OK corral.  As in--OK who's going to get in?  LOL.  2 of them make it in...I'll give you one guess which calf did not go in.

As I'm rounding them up, the other cows stare at me from the corral:

They're looking at me like I'm entertainment instead of actually's my version of what they're saying:

"Now Myrtle look at her go, she's on that machine."

"I know, this ought to be good.  Do you think she'll get Clarice's boy in?"

"Oh that Dennis, he's such a wayward little man, always looking for greener grass somewhere."

"I know ya'll aren't talkin bout my boy Dennis are you?  He is such a fine man...look at him run, he's just a young stallion.  You two hussies better quiet it down over there."

"Now Clarice, you know we weren't talking bad about Dennis.  We just love to watch that crazy woman try and catch him."

"Oh here she goes again, I'll bet you 2 cubes that she gets him in."

"I'll take that bet Myrtle, my boy is stubborn and hard-headed just like his Daddy, 3 cubes says she doesn't get him in, machine or no."

Well I didn't get Dennis in...and the 4-wheeler ran out of gas.   Oops!

And here's Dennis, still searching for greener pasture...sigh.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I'd Like to Make a Citizen's Arrest....

Daylight savings time has done it again!  Stolen my time!!! LOL.  No really though, I don't know whether its because I got a new job a couple of months ago, the leaving home when its dark and getting home when its dark, I don't know, but I feel like my time is just disappearing...and I'm blaming DST.

I did get a new job a couple of months ago, now I work full-time instead of part-time.  The PT job was never meant to be PT, just ended up that way.  It did work out because over the summer I was able to have another PT job...farmhand, LOL.  I was able to get some of those "to do list" projects done while J was at work.  While I do love working full-time, I do miss those hours (or heck I would settle for 1 hour) of just being in the house alone and working on my own timeline, instead of: get home, cook dinner, do laundry, get ready for work tomorrow, do chores, oh crap its time for bed already.  Kind of like the Sex and the City episode where Aiden has just moved in with Carrie and, she's like "stop with the questions, I need some downtime.'  How can so much of my life relate back to a SATC episode anyway?  LOL.

DST doesn't help this either, or the fact that the first few days afterwards were rainy and dreary--yuck.  But leaving when the porchlight is on, and returning and the porchlight is still on, is different...and its stealing my time.

Oh well, such is life  :-)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Hauling Hay with the Hubs

Last year hauling hay only included prairie hay and alfalfa, maybe a bit of brohme.  This year--since we're chopping anything down--it includes corn stubble and Milo stubble.  So we're loading up some Milo stubble the other night, with the Gobob trailer, and I came up with a list of "rules in hauling hay with the hubs."  PS a gobob trailer is this long skinny trailer that the bales are loaded on horizontal and pushed forward.  Here's a pic of J loading:

In no particular order:
-make sure the tractor that's loading the truck has brakes...or that you know about it before you get whiplash when the tractor hits the trailer and you go flying in the drivers seat of the truck

-don't wear flip-flops...even if the hubs says you won't be getting out of the truck.  Who knows when the tractor will spring a leak and you will get called out of the truck to hold a flashlight or something.

-always bring a book or something to entertain you.  Problems happen, and you might get stuck in the truck waiting for a while; and being that some of these locations are not cell-phone friendly, talking to friends or playing on facebook isn't a reliable source of entertainment.

-wear a supportive bra, or sports bra.  The ground is hard and getting bounced around with 10,000 pounds on the back-end of a truck is not enjoyable in an everyday bra, take my word on it. 

-take a drink...does that really need an explanation?

-take a moment to enjoy the countryside and God's handiwork, it really is pretty!

-be ready for the trip to take longer than expected...or translate it to farmer time.  An hour to everyday people is about 2 1/2 hours in farmer time. 

I think that about covers it, unless some of my readers have others, feel free to share  :-)

Monday, November 7, 2011

The 8 and 80 Rule

Now when I waited tables, people would just love to have someone at their table sung happy birthday to them.  Would they want to be sang to?  Probably not, but something about embarrassing those around you appeals to people.  And really its not cute.  To sing to a 32 year person...not cute--to the person or the server that has to sing to them.  However, there are some exceptions, the 8 and 80 rule--if the person is under 8 or over 80 its cute, usually super-cute.  A little girl with pigtails all excited, a little boy in a Cars shirt--too cute.  A little old lady having a margarita on her 83 birthday--too cute!  So that's the 8 and 80 also applies to other boys in overalls.

If a little boy (under 8) in overalls asks me for something...I have NO resistance.  They are just too stickin cute.  I'd probably had over my lung if a little tike looked up at me, with their hands in their pockets big eyes asking me to.  Same things goes for little old men in overalls--totally a sucker.  Sale barn, stockyards, little old man says "darling you look like my granddaughter--any chance you'd get me a coffee?"  Yep, you name it.  LOL.  I guess the first step is admitting the problem, right?  Hmmm...

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


My post for

So I'm sitting trying to enjoy a lovely evening of watching Sex and the City reruns, enjoying a little adult beverage, listening to my husband and his friend grind up goose meat for jerky, and the TV starts blinking in and out because of the lovely Kansas weather and wind.  And I'm thinking...this is my life.

When I first met my husband I really didn't even know where Whitewater was.  Pretty sure I'd heard of it, but didn't know exactly where it was.  Fast forward a few months, and I'm living outside of a town I couldn't even place.  But here's the thing, I love it!  I've always loved the country and seeing the seasons change and really see the full circle of life.  I get to witness that now.  Will I ever quit watching Sex and the City?  Probably not.  Will you ever see me in cowboy boots?  Probably not  :-)   The cows just love my striped rainbow boots anyways.  But that's who I am--I'm Barnyard Barbie...just a girl living in the country...with a good sense of humor...and a lot of fashion sense  ;-)

You talkin to me? You talkin to me?  Yeah I'm lookin at my momma--she has some cute boots on...that's right.  Her toes look good too, I've seen toes are well, Miss Piggy has better. 

It helps in my adventures that I can laugh at myself  :-)  I've been known to have a couple of greenhand country girl moments--oh well--it gives my life an interesting pattern  :-)  Join in my adventures!