Friday, April 19, 2013

Barnyard Barbie's Guide for Going on Vacay with a Farmer

So a while ago I blogged on Guide to Dating a Farmer--well now it's time for Barnyard Barbie's Guide to Going on Vacay with a Farmer.

Going on vacation may seem like a wonderful idea--warm weather, cold drinks, relaxation, shopping, rejuvenation, etc, etc.  Well...unless you're married to a farmer and have to plan one.  First hurdle--who's going to look after all the critters while we're gone?  I mean turning the lights on a timer is great and all--but who's going to feed Arnold twice a day; check on the cows; feed cows; feed the donkeys; let the chickens out; collect chicken eggs; feed the bulls; water all said creatures; etc, etc?  These are our livelihood and critters and it takes a little more than a neighbor collecting your mail responsibility.  The list takes up a full page of notes and details of where to get water and feed sacks, etc. 

Then comes the big question of when?  Because getting your farmer off the farm is the goal!  Looking at a calendar here are the options, I have scored each one according to the Magic Eight Ball, because sometimes the Magic Eight Ball is a better predictor than Kansas weather  :-)

January--Don't count on it  Calving starts, can't leave those cows alone in the cold
February--My reply is no Calving continues
March--Better not tell you now
April--Reply hazy, try again!  How's the weather?  has corn been planted?  Has corn seed been delivered?  If it hasn't, chances are better on getting your farmer off the farm.  If the seed is delivered, dream on.
May--My sources say no!  Between other grain planting and moving cows to greener pastures (literally), there won't be much time for you and your farmer.
June--Very doubtful!  Not only will you not get your farmer to go on vacation--you probably won't even see him at all
July--Very doubtful!  As nice as cold water and cold drinks sound, cutting down hay and hauling hay will keep you and your farmer busy.
August--Concentrate and ask again. 
September--Don't count on it.  Harvest of corn will keep you both busy.
October--Ask again later.  Chances are dependent on the weather--is it raining?  Your chances of a getaway are better than if its dry.
November--Concentrate and ask again.  Moving cattle to their winter homes will take some time.  Cleaning all equipment for winter storage will leave your farmer frustrated that XYZ bearing went out AGAIN. 
December--Who has time to vacay in December?  LOL

So once you have conned some lucky individual into watching your critters AND chosen a time that your farmer can leave--you have vacation time!  Woot woot!

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