Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Respect? Respect.

Lately, I've noticed respect (or lack thereof) in the news, society, and in my personal life.  I've asked people what it is and what it means to them, and each answer is somewhat different.  So it got me to thinking, what is respect and how is it given?  Taken?  Earned?  Those are all complex verbs with deep-rooted meanings that go back to childhood or something we may not even specifically remember.

So what does Webster say it is?

esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, personal quality or ability, or    something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability:
I have great respect for her judgment.

deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have   certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment:
respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag;respect for the elderly.

Let's discuss the second.  Deference to a right or privilege.  Some would say this is respect for the elderly, a superior at work, religious leader, the flag, etc.  That the person or item deserves deference and respect.  How do we learn that?  The elderly might slap you over the head for not opening the door or give you the "don't make me wash that mouth out with soap" look, but there's no written sign saying so.  How do we learn respect?  That little word with so much behind it.

Growing up, my Dad demanded respect.  And that was a period at the end of the sentence, not a question mark.  It wasn't "no music or TV at the supper table?"  it was "no music or TV at the supper table."  No discussion, no meeting to hear both sides, period, no discussion.   Cussing in the house?  LOL.  If he was still alive, I still don't think I could cuss in from of him in fear of what might happen.  It was his house, his rules.  Once you were out on your own and paid your own bills, fine, but it was his house, his rules.  Period, no question.  That's how I grew up, and I how have in innate respect for superiors, other people's houses, and their house rules.  If I know someone doesn't drink, I don't show up with my vodka and crystal light sippy cup.  That's just the way I am.  If I have a superior that I disagree with, I still respect the position, because they are still my superior.  

But that leaves two groups of people, those that believe in "my house, my rules" and those that don't understand that.  And the 2 groups of thought don't understand the other.  One group will continue to do whatever they want because, they can.  And the other group will say, what?    

Disrespect to me, is something that strikes me to the core and something I inherently abhor.  To disrespect me or my family, makes my inner being pull on armor and want to fight.  Will that ever change in me?  I doubt it.  Will I ever not think "my house, my rules"  probably not.  Will that make some people mad?  At this point in my life, I really don't care.  To come into my house and disrespect me or my family, gets a person a free ticket elsewhere.  And that's a period, not a question.

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