Adventures with Snakes

I get it-snakes are on the same planet I am....however I don't have to like them or want to be anywhere around them.  Sadly, our chicken/hay barn and the fact the chickens are laying eggs kind of attracts the slithery little creatures to my domain.

Once, I came upon a snake with its jaws stretched open wide to eat MY egg!  That hootch! 

Now the picture is not so clear, but that black long thing is not a chicken...and does not belong in my barn.  Luckily one of the neighbors (who likes snakes) came and relocated it for me  :-)  Yeah!

Then!  There's another snake, bigger than this guy, who J and I had randomly seen in the hay bales, but never got a good chance to snatch it/relocate it/kill it/etc in the barn.  Until I go outside with my little egg basket and polka-dot vintage sunglasses and come literally face-to-face with him!  There's a break in the hay bales of about a foot by 2 feet space that a couple of hens decided is their little roosting place.  Well I'd seen the snake in there before, but at the back end.  This time, I go into the barn and look in the hole and see the dark form that is the snake.  However, my eyes hadn't quite adjusted to the darkness...and this guy's head was about 6 inches from mine-like we were nose-to-nose!  Agghhhh!  I screamed, the chickens balked, the snake was scared, even the neighbors a mile down the road could probably hear me.  He slithers back in there and then I get pissed--how dare this creature try to overtake my barn and eat my eggs!!!  I start hitting the bales with a stake, screaming all kinds of expletives about the injustice and what did he think he was doing, blah blah blah.  Oof!  Well I continue on my egg-gathering adventure, I walk around the outside of the barn and have a thought.  (The barn has windows that used to have glass, but now are covered with hay.)  I bet that little mofo is trying to slip out the back!  And sure enough he was!  His little head is poking out, tongue sticking out, I start throwing rocks and sticks at the whole in the barn.  Who do you think you are mofo!!!  And walked off in a huff.

Well J gets home and I retell my story, and we go back out there...and what do you know?  That snake still has his head poking out!  The nerve!  So my manly husband grabs this snake by the head and pulls it out!  Which wasn't an easy task because this fatty snake who had been living large on my eggs, was like a fat kid in a tiny suit of hay bales.   Then the snake got relocated...here he is:

New Items!

So I tried 2 new items at the grocery store the other day (still trying to get out of my buy the same thing all the time rut).  Here is my review:

Terra Sweet Potato Chips:

http://www.terrachips.com/our-chips/sweet-potato-chips/72822934566

AWESOME!!  I really would have devoured the whole bag, but I tried to maintain some form of self-control.  They are crisp and not soggy like fried sweet potatoes can be.  Totally repeat purchase  :-)

Planters Nutrition Peanut Butter: (I bought the berry nut)

http://www.planters.com/varieties/featnutritionpb.aspx

Ok, so I had a coupon and would give it a whirl.  Eh--its just kind of weird to have peanut butter with small bits of fruit in it.  Not quite a PB&J, but not just plain PB either.  Won't be a repeat purchase.  :-(

Upside Down Pizza

Upside down Pizza?  Oh yes, and it is super easy and super yummy!

You need:

1 lb ground, browned meat (beef, sausage, venison, whatever)
2 carrots shredded
2 okra diced
1 tomato diced
1 jar of Ragu
diced onion
diced olives
shredded cheese
1 pop-can of biscuits (what are those things called?) I used wheat

-grease a 9x13 pan
-add all ingredients together (not the cheese and biscuits) mix throughly
-put mixture into pan
-sprinkle with cheese
-split biscuits in 1/2, then place on top of mixture

Bake for 25-30 min at 375.  So yummy!

Things I Never Thought I would Say

I'm driving to church the other day and am looking around and think "that guys double-crop milo looks pretty good."  Wait--hold up a second...what did I just say?  If anyone had asked me what that sentence meant 3 years ago, I would have had no clue.  Double-crop?  Milo I knew was a grain, but probably couldn't identify it in a grain line-up.  And now I'm commenting on someone's crops?  Sometimes there are things that really make me wonder how far I've come and what my crazy life matriculated to what it is now.

Here are some other things I never would have imagined coming out of my mouth:

-Well yeah my rooster crows back at me when I crow at him...doesn't everybodys?
-I think the belt in the combine sounds like its on its last leg (which J informed me there is always a belt that is on its last leg)
-The High Plains Journal has a great article on adjusting the combine for draughty soybeans (really who says that?  me!)


Oh, my crazy, wonderful farm life  :-)

The Love and Hate Relationship With Food

If you are new to reading my blog, maybe you haven't heard me write about food, but I love food, I love cooking food, I love eating food--well good food.  I'm not a subscriber to Food and Wine, but I know good food when I'm eating it and I definitely know when the food is not good, and I also know when it is the same-same food.

What is same-same food?  I like to call it Sysco.  Sysco is probably the largest supplier of food goods to restaurants/hotels/convention centers/etc, if not in the US, then definitely in Kansas.  Today at Red Lobster, which is owned by Darden, which also owns Longhorn Steakhouse (where I worked for 9 years), and Olive Garden, I noticed that their food is just the same as Longhorn.  Seriously their Key Lime Pie, I guarantee is the same Key Lime Pie at Longhorn.  And that wonderful Chicken Parmesan at Longhorn is the same as the Shrimp Parmesan at Olive Garden.  Honestly it made me kind of sick to think about.  What has society become that we accept homogenized food?  (This is not a slam to Sysco, Darden, etc--otherwise why would I have worked there for 9 years?). 

This whole debate of Pink Slime (Finely textured meat substitute something) is what we have forced the food industry to do.  If society really wants Pink Slime to go away, then society would have to stop going to ALL fast food establishments, stop buying canned meat items, and whatever else that that stuff goes into.  The food industry did not set out to work with a product that is so gross, but the fast food industry demands a product that can be molded and sold for 97 cents. 

We as consumers have a choice when we spend the mighty dollar, if Pink Slime grosses you out, then eat at home and get meat from a local meat locker.  And if same-same food leaves doesn't work try a local mom and pop restaurant.  I don't know when I'll eat at Red Lobster again, or if I even will...just left me wanting real food.

Who Doesn't Like Pork and Stuffing?

So I don't know if I've mentioned it before or not, but I LOVE stuffing or dressing or whatever you want to call it.  That delicious savory cornbread bits, kind of soft, and kind of crumbly on the edges...mmhmm tasty!  I am so blessed that I learned how to make my grandpa's stuffing (its something I will always have with me), but anyways so I was craving some stuffing the other day and came up with this quick and easy meal--that was delicious!

You need:

1 pork chop per person
2 or 3 cups cornbread stuffing uncooked (package is fine)
1 cup dried cranberries
1 apple diced (leave the peel on)
2-3 tablespoons butter

Put the cornbread in the bottom of a foil-lined pan.
Sprinkle the cranberries and apples over the top
put the butter in little pats randomly
place the pork chops on top of the pile
cover with foil and cook for 30-40 minutes

Let me tell you--it is yummy!  It all cooks together and the smells and flavors just blend together perfectly. 

Fall Fashion Preview

So I have spent hours of dedicated time studying the latest Fall fashions so I can share them with you!  Aren't you lucky?!?!  :-)

The biggest (and most exciting) thing I have noticed is gloves!  We're talking 1940-50s mid-forearm gloves.  Worn with a short sleeved coat or a suit dress.  Very Doris Day and very now!  So cute!  So exciting!  Check out the below pics--aren't these ladies gorgeous and so chic with the longer glove  :-) 

For colors--I predict that Brandywine will be the hot color.  Rich, decadent, everything that fall and winter should be  :-)

Happy shopping!

So I kind of have a love affair going on......

With the cutest brown-haired, brown-eyed beauties I have seen in a long time---Miniature Donkeys.  Mini-donkeys what?  So I started seeing these mini-donkeys and kind of felt sad for them because really they're so fugly (f'ing ugly), they're cute.  And J in his good humor is going along with my desire to have one (or shut me up)....that is until we went and looked at some.  They win you over!  Let me just tell you--they are the cutest little critters.  And they all want is to be petted and loved on.  When you pet one, another scoots up and wants petted too.  Too precious! And when they run--that is some funny sh*t!  Their legs aren't quite proportional to their body or something, I don't even know.  I dare someone not to laugh at them.  Then the babies!  They look like little bears--all fuzzy and little.  Even J was won over with their cute-ness factor.  Who knows?  We might be those crazy people with mini-donkeys (whatever will the people in town say?  LOL)

Stay tuned though....I think they're in our future  :-)

Unemployment Rate = Irritated Barbie

Yes, give me a boost up to my soapbox....and this time its about the unemployment rate.

I hear people talk about how times are so hard, the unemployment rate is so high, its the worst recession since the Depression, how good jobs are so hard to find...and blah blah blah.  Maybe its because it's an election year and these facts and statistics are thrown in our face more often than normal.  On the flip side of that issue I hear numerous employers say they can't find good help, places have Help Wanted signs on their doors for months at a time, and pages of advertisements needing help are listed in the paper.  So what gives?  Does the unemployment rate just give people something to complain about?  Personally I don't think that unemployment is a problem--its the people looking for jobs don't want the jobs out there.  So maybe a person has to bartend until a full-time job opens up,  maybe they realize that bartending makes decent money, maybe being a stocker at Dillons isn't a career path that is highly desirable.  You know what though?  It's a job!  And if someone works hard at said job, then maybe a promotion to section manager or store manager is a possibility.  But getting your hands dirty first might be a requirement.  I don't know maybe it's my stubbornness of make something work---but really when I hear people complain about being unemployed I really just want to smack them with a pair of gloves and tell them to get busy.

Ok I'll step down now.

How I Ended Up with Blood on my Hands before 7am

So I'm headed to the gym, just like I do every morning, get in the car--out of gas.  Hmmm...do you ever have one of those days where subconsciously you want to consciously turn the car around, crawl back into bed, and just pray for a do-over?  Well that was the feeling I had, but hey, cars need gas to go.  I finish up, head down the highway to town and see this thing in the rode...cah-clump.  Oh no!  Pretty sure that was a dead deer in the road that I completely ran over.  So I stop and inspect for damage, call J and ask what to do.  He suggests going back to make sure it was dead. As I pull up beside it, I see its a fawn (a baby deer with the spots and everything), and then I see the momma and daddy deer looking at me like "you ran over my baby!"  Eeek!  As I am stopped, I see another car hit and drag it even farther.  Oh no.  I guess whoever hit it before me, didn't quite kill it--but I did.  So J says well, you could push it off to the side of the rode so it doesn't get drug around and people keep hitting it.  Ok--sure, I can do this.  Oh no I can't do it!  Oh yes I can!  So this little guy was still warm.  My heart was just breaking at this point.  Yes I understand the cycle of life and deer are wild animals, but this one was right in front of me and died a horrible death...not pleasant at 6:45 in the morning.  So I'm pushing it off the road and the little hairs and blood are getting all over my hands.  I'm not usually squeamish, but this a little too close to that breaking point.  The little guy goes over and I get back in my car--and where are the Lysol wipes--oh they're gone.  All the way to the gym with hairy bloody hands and a tear-streaked face...I'm sure I looked like a mass-murderer or something.