I'm working my cow-whisperer magic on her too, she doesn't give me the crazy serial-killer eye anymore when I have to spray her with some cow-neosporin.
Her calf was a stillborn, and it got me to thinking (along with this morning's radio show), how to tell kids about farm animals dying. And there is a difference between a pet you have in your home, versus one that is outdoors. For example, we have barn cats, their population is a constant up and down. Kids will be out here one time and play with the kitties and the next time they're here, they're gone. Now, I've been saying "they ran away." Which I consider a 1/2 truth. The said cats probably did wander too far and became coyote food. Is that lying to children? Are children ready to learn about the life cycle via the family farm? Hmmm....I'm not a parent, so I really don't know the appropriate age a child is ready to hear that an animal is dead, or ran over, or coyote food, or whatever. Thoughts?
Hmmm...When is a good time to talk to kids about death? Well, I'm probably in the minority in this but I think it is something you should be honest about as early as possible. I don't know that your story about the cats running away is wrong. You don't honestly know what happened. So you aren't lying or telling a half-truth. You are merely stating that you assume they ran away which is probably true. Whether their running was outside of the barn or whatever, they are no longer at your farm.
ReplyDeleteI strongly feel that the earlier kids are told about death (this does NOT include all the gory details of a murder or something like that), the easier it is for them to understand pain and loss. They learn so enough how final death is, but they definitely need to understand that death is a part of the picture of life.
I am a teacher (1st grade) and I talk to my kids about death. It is part of life. I used to avoid it - then the father of one of my students died at the end of his kindergarten year. His mom didn't want me to talk about it - she wanted me to pretend it didn't happen. I didn't agree with her but I didn't talk to him about it. Then one day he was really sad and I asked him about it during recess. He missed his dad and wanted to talk to someone about it. So we talked and after that he was different ... he was able to focus on school more he seemed happier. Now, I'm not saying it is because we talked about it but I do think it was because he knew he could talk to me again.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kim that kids shouldn't be told the gory details but they should be given the information they can handle.
Thanks for all the advice ladies!
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